Arashi no mae no shizukesa
by Lyn908
Summary: Oneshots from the same universe as my story Arashi ni narimasu. Harry is a Shinobi in this and his name is Hikaru. Naruto Crossover
1. Exam Time

**Disclaimer: I don't own either Harry Potter or Naruto.**

**Warnings: Language**

**A/N: Well I've had some requests for certain interaction between two characters, or wanting to know how what happened in the missing scenes. (I'm not writing what Sirius did to Dumbledore unless I get a really good plot bunny. The truth is that whatever Sirius would have done to him is better than anything I could ever write.)To prevent Arashi ni narimasu from becoming too out of hand I decided to make this collection of oneshots. Some of these may be used in the main story as flashbacks but mainly this is for me to write plots, that while fitting with the story, wouldn't work well with the continuity of the story. **

**The title is supposed to mean calm before a storm. If it's wrong would someone please tell me. **

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**This takes place about a month after Sirius arrives in Konoha. **

"So this is it."

"Hai."

"You're really going to go through with this huh?"

"…."

"You don't have to you know. No pressure."

"…."

"I mean just think of all those people. What if you mess up? You'll never be able to take this back. They'll remember it forever. You could just postpone it, I'm sure Arashi wouldn't mind. I mean-" Sirius was cut off by a fist to the top of his head.

"Baka! What do you think your doing trying to get my deshi to back out?" Tsunade screamed. "You've been here all of one month and your already messing up his future career."

"He's more than prepared for this!" She continued. "His training was overseen by over fifty percent of the villages Jounin whenever they had free time during the war. He's been ready to be tested for Chunin for months now and-"

"Tsunade-sama-" Hikaru tried to interrupt.

"- you need to-"

"Tsunade-sama plea-"

"-realize that things-"

Hikaru finally had enough. "Tsunade-sama!" He screamed.

"Nani? Can't you see I'm dealing with your baka of a kyoufu, Hikaru?" Tsunade asked, whirling around to face the young boy, warm amber eyes sparking with annoyance.

Hikaru eyed his Shishou with amusement. "Un, and normally I wouldn't mind. However he may have some difficulties retaining what your telling him this time."

Tsunade arched a brow at her newest deshi. "Oh? I know he's thick but he's always remembered before."

Hikaru nodded solemnly. "Ah, well this time may be a little different."

"How so?"

"Well Sensei, it's quite hard to retain information if your unconscious."

"Oh. Well damn."

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**Glossary:** _Some terms may be incorrect. Please inform me if this is the case._

**Deshi: Student or apprentice**

**Nani: What**

**Kyoufu: Godfather**

**Shishou: Master or teacher**

**Un: Yeah**

**Sensei: Teacher**


	2. How Hikaru became Ibiki's apprentice

**Disclaimer: I don't own either.**

**A/N:Really I have to say that my main story Arashi ni narimasu was just an excuse to write this type of scenario. Can you imagine any father wanting their sweet little child to become an interogator? **

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**How Hikaru became Ibiki's apprentice**

**Takes place a few months before Obito attempts to teach Hikaru about the chakra system. Hikaru is about 4 years of age.**

"Come on kid. What'dya want to be Tsunade's apprentice for? Don't you want to become a seal master like your old man? You don't really want to have to wear one of those atrocious white frocks do ya?" Jiraiya cajoled drunkenly. "You'll be able to make really cool Jutsu's like your dad's Hiraishin no Jutsu if you become my apprentice."

"Karu-kun don't listen to that old hentai! He'd never actually train you, just give you with some impossible task and ditch you to go peep on bathing women!" Tsunade waved her cup, sloshing sake over the side.

Hikaru looked between his Obasan and Ojisan in confusion. 'Why do adults have to be so weird?' He thought to himself.

"Tch! Your one to talk you old hag! Like you wouldn't take off gambling!"

"At least I wouldn't turn him into a pervert!" The blond woman shot back.

The three of them were sitting in one of the candle-lit war conference rooms located in Kage Tower waiting for Arashi and his team to return. Since Tsunade and Jiraiya were supposed to be baby-sitting Hikaru, they had decided they might as well multi-task and get drunk at the same time. Unfortunately for them this was the scene that Arashi, his students, the Hokage, and several other Shinobi walked in on.

"Sensei! Tsunade-sama! What are you two doing! I asked you to watch him till I got back not subject him to one of your drunken tirades!"

"Ah! Arashi my faithful deshi! You'll tell her won't you!" Jiraiya yelled hanging off Arashi's shoulder.

"Tell her what ero-sennin?" Arashi sighed prying Jiraiya's fingers off his arm.

"Why tell her that your gaki will be apprenticing under me when he's older."

"And why would I tell her that Sensei?" Arashi eyed his former Sensei with amusement. "It's Hikaru's choice who he learns from if he wants to specialize. I won't be one of those father's who forces their child into something."

Jiraiya stared at him in horror. "No way! You can't let him become a medic-nin! He'll never be a babe magnet wearing one of those outfits!"

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Meanwhile, while the adults were having their conversation, Hikaru had wandered off towards the unknown Shinobi's. He was a cautious child but also very curious and he knew his Tousan would never have allowed them within a thousand feet of him if they were a danger to him.

Stopping in front of a sturdy looking Genin who was talking a older snake-like Jounin he tugged on the boy's trench coat.

Morino Ibiki feeling the tug looked down into the greenest eyes he had ever seen and got a foreboding feeling in his gut. "Yes? Did you need something?"

"What's your name?"

"Ah Morino Ibiki. And yours?"

"It's Karu. You're a ninja right?" Hikaru asked, cocking his head to the side, spiky hair flopping in his eyes.

"Yes I am."

"Oh finally." He paused in thought. "Your not an adult are you?" He asked suspiciously.

Ibiki was definitely amused by the child now. "Not the last time I checked."

"That's good. I'd normally ask Kashi-kun or Onnichan but they're busy with Ojiisan right now. So I was wondering if I could ask you since you're still a kid."

Here the snake-like Jounin interrupted. "Hello little one my name is Orochimaru. If you have a question maybe I could answer it for you," he offered.

Hikaru cocked his head to the opposite side and wrinkled his nose cutely. "No."

"No?" Both Shinobi's asked in shock.

"No. You're an adult and adults are weird. 'cept for Tousan and Ojiisan but they're busy."

Orochimaru failed to suppress a snort of amusement. "Is that so?"

"Hai! Anyways," he said turning back to the Genin. "Could you tell me what an apprentice is?

Ibiki smiled at the young boy. "Well I'm an apprentice. It's when a student is taught by an older more experienced teacher about a certain subject. Unlike Genin teams it's one on one so we learn about everything our Shishou does."

"What are you learning about?" Hikaru asked.

"Well…" Ibiki hesitated. "I'm learning to be an interrogator for the Torture and Interrogation Force."

"What's that?"

Ibiki sent a pleading look towards the Jounin who simply smirked and said, "Your on your own kid."

Ibiki searched his mind furiously for something to say. "Well… I, um. Ah.-"

Thankfully Hikaru cut him off. "Do you get to meet lots of new people?"

Ibiki latched onto that train of though with a vengeance. "Hai. We meet lots of new people. Some from all over the continent."

"Do you get to talk with them?"

"Yes. About all sorts of things," Ibiki said nervously.

"Is it a fun job?"

"Ah well some people find it fun."

"Hmm. Okay I've decided then!" Hikaru said happily.

"Decided what little one?" Orochimaru asked curiously.

"Well I've decided that I'm gonna apprentice under Ibiki-kun!"

"What!" Both Shinobi's exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah see the way I figure it is that by the time Ibiki-kun is done learnin', he'll be old enough to teach me. And since I like meeting new people and talking I'll be a perfect interrogator!"

Orochimaru started laughing, while Ibiki stood in shock.

"Come on Ibiki-kun, lets go tell my Tousan!" Hikaru started dragging the Genin towards his father, Orochimaru following at a slower pace. The Jounin didn't plan on missing Arashi's reactions to his son's choice of career.

"Tousan, Tousan guess what?"

Arashi turned from reprimanding Tsunade and Jiraiya in surprise. Looking at his son he saw him holding onto an uncomfortable looking Morino Ibiki, with Orochimaru standing close by. "What is it kiddo?"

"I've decided what I want to be when I grow up Tousan!"

By now the entire room was looking on in curiosity while Orochimaru almost choked on his smothered hissed laughs.

"Oh? What?"

"I want to be an interrogator for the Torture and Interrogation Force!"

The only sounds in the deathly silent room was the echoing thump as Arashi's unconscious form hit the floor and Orochimaru's hysterical laughter.

"Tousan? Tousan?" Hikaru nudged his father's still form. "Tousan this isn't the place to take a nap," he huffed in frustration.

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**I hope you enjoyed and please review!**


	3. Sirius's Revenge

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**A/N: I know I said I wouldn't write this but I had writer's block for my main story and I thought this would help. I still don't think it's quite right but I hope you like it anyways.**

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"Albus I hope I'm not interrupting but Peeves has caused…." Minerva trailed off in horror pointing at his forehead. 

"Yes Minerva? What has Peeves done now?" Albus Dumbledore ground out, praying to every God and Divine power he knew that the Deputy Headmistress dropped the subject.

Unfortunately fate's a bitch that really despises Dumbledore.

"Albus what the hell is on your forehead!? Why does it say PEDOPHILE in flashing green and silver?" The normally proper professor swore in shock.

Severus Snape started laughing hysterically at the sour look on his employer's face. Seeing as he wasn't about to answer, he decided to do it for him. Finally gaining control of himself except for a few straw snorts of amusement he turned to his colleague.

"Sirius Black was just here. It seems that he found out about his godson and wasn't pleased."

Minerva started shaking with suppressed laughter. "I see. But why haven't you gotten rid of it?"

Dumbledore growled while Snape started laughing again. "He can't! It's a time released spell. It'll wear off in a month-"

"Enough Severus!"

"And what's worse is that he has a meeting with the Minister and Wizengamot first thing tomorrow!" He howled.

"Severus," Albus hissed. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Hmmm…… Not at the moment no."

Dumbledore sighed in defeat, already knowing that the potions master wasn't moving from his office in the foreseeable future.

"Well then." Minerva gained control of her shaking, pausing to observe the flashing letters on the Headmaster's forehead. The barest hints of a smile could be seen on her face. "You must admit that it's a wonderful piece of spell work."

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	4. Reactions

**Disclaimer: Both Harry Potter and Naruto belong to their respective owners. **

**To Reviewers: Thanks for the reviews and support. As much as I'd like it, not all of these oneshots will be funny. From what I've read about Orochimaru before he left Konoha, he was pretending to be decent so he could become Hokage. Even though he will be an evil bastard in my story he's still gotta have some human traits right? Also it was easy for me to picture Orochimaru finding pleasure in Arashi's discomfort.**

**A/N: Well someone wanted to know what happened after Hikaru's decision. I didn't do Kakashi because out of all of them I see him as most understanding at that point in time. For now just assume that Kakashi fully supports whatever Hikaru chooses. Once again Hikaru is about 4 years old in this one.**

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**Reactions**

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"Well…. At least he doesn't want to be a medic."

Arashi whimpered lifting his head from the table. "You aren't helping Sensei! It's just a phase right? He won't actually want to become an interrogator will he?"

"…. I dunno Arashi. Your runt seemed pretty adamant about the whole thing when we tried to talk him out of it. You certainly didn't help matters any by fainting like some civilian," Jiraiya admonished pouring him some more sake. "And what the hell are you looking so smug about Tsunade?"

Tsunade looked at the white-haired man triumphantly from across the table in the conference room. After Arashi's fainting spell, while everyone had questioned the raven haired boy on his future career choice, she had sat back and thought carefully.

"Well isn't it obvious?"

"What?" Jiraiya said exasperated. "Don't tell me it's some woman thing that only another member of the female race would be able to understand."

Tsunade chucked an empty bottle of sake at his head. "Baka!" She hissed. "Even an idiot like you should be able to figure this out."

"Well let's assume that I can't shall we?"

"Tch. It means I win."

"Win? Win what?"

Tsunade smirked watching her former team-mate carefully. "Well all interrogators have to have basic medic training. They have to be able to know when to pull back and when it's safe to keep going. Because of that they also become substitute field medics for their team until they can reach a fully trained medic-nin. It won't be that hard to convince the head of the ANBU Torture and Interrorgation Force to let me fully train him. Therefore I win!"

"What!" Jiraiya roared, standing swiftly. "There is no way you are turning that boy into a medic-nin. Arashi tell her she can't!"

"Nuh uh! Didn't you just say that you wouldn't be the type of father that would dictate your son's choice's Arashi-kun?"

"Don't remind me!" The tall blond groaned letting his head fall back to the table.

The ones left in the room all eyed the three in amusement. Shortly after Arashi had fainted, Kakashi and his team-mates had picked up their Sensei's son, taking him home after quickly deciding that it was past the boy's bedtime. Morino Ibiki had left shortly after them, fearing for his life around the awakening father.

"Really Arashi," the Sandaime said. "It's not that bad. He could have decided that he wanted to be a civilian. Then he would have been defenceless against assassins. Besides he's still young he could change his mind."

"I know that! It's just that he's my baby boy! I don't want to think about him doing something like interrogating prisoners!"

Orochimaru snorted in amusement, drawing everyone's attention. "Does it really matter what career he chooses? Not only is he too young to decide the rest of his life but your other suggestions for the boy are equally as disturbing."

Jiraiya sneered at his former team-mate, arching a brow. "Oh. Do tell. How is a seal master or medic-nin as disturbing as becoming an interrogator?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" The golden eyed man mocked Tsunade's former words. "Does a medic not have to perform gruesome, bloody surgery on patients that could cause them pain or death? Can a seal master not blow their bodies to bits by experimenting with dangerous ancient seals? Do they both not do despicable things in the name of their village? What makes those fields any less appealing than an interrogator?"

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**A/N2: It seemed like the best place to end it. As for what happenes next... use your imagination.**


	5. Bell Test

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto.**

**Warnings: Sexual situation (sorta), language. **

**A/N at bottom**

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**Bell Test**

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"Heh. So one of the last remaining Uchiha's wants to challenge me. Sakura and Naruto already failed. Do you really think you have what it takes to get a bell from me?" 

"Say what you like. I'm not like those losers," Sasuke said crouching down and reaching into his kunai pouch.

"So obvious," Kakashi drawled dodging the weapons easily only to spring Sasuke's hidden trap.

Kakashi jumped up and away from the incoming shuriken. He landed gracefully, grabbing the young Uchiha's leg as it flew towards his face, followed by a punch that was easily caught as well.

"Yare, yare. I already gave Naruto the Taijutsu lesson Sasuke-"

Kakashi's eye's widened in surprise as the boy twisted in his grip, going for the bells. Kakashi quickly twitched his hips to the right causing him to grab something very different than the bells.

The observing Genin, and the fighting duo froze in shock as Sasuke was held upside down in his Sensei's grip, the boy's hand cupping the man's groin.

"Y-you t-two are so dead," Naruto stammered in shock.

Kakashi pulled himself together and turned his head to the blonde quickly. "Now Naruto there's no need for Hikaru to find out," he said in franticly. "Sasuke for Kami's sake get your damn hand off my crotch before-"

"Hey Kashi where are you? Are you done testing the gaki's yet?" Kakashi froze in shock once again as his long-time crush walked into the clearing.

"Hey Kakashi what's going-" Hikaru and Itachi froze as they took in the scene before them.

Itachi turned to Hikaru, his eye's dark with fury. "I'll take Kakashi if you take my Otouto."

"Hikaru, Itachi wait it's not what it looks like-" Kakashi shouted.

Hikaru bowed his head, his black locks shielding his face from view. "Oh. Well I've got one thing to say to that."

Hikaru raised his head as he drew a single tessen from his holster. "Run chibi Uchiha. Run."

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**A/N: Wellll. I was reading the manga and I came across the scene where Sasuke was reaching for the bells. It got me thinking: what would happen if he overreached and grabbed Kakashi's crotch? Then I thought: what would happen if Hikaru or Itachi strolled by? Trust me in my head it was a lot funnier. When I put it in writing it just sounded lame. This technically doesn't fit with my story because I haven't yet decided on Genin teams for the rookies yet. Oh well it wanted to be written so it was. P.S. Is anyone else having trouble getting the symbols to save on edited documents?**

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	6. First Kills

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto**

**A/N: Well this was supposed to be where Orochimaru discovered about Hikaru being a Parseltongue but it decided it wanted to be about his first kill instead. Nothing gory really, but some reviewers wanted some more Orochimaru so I figured I'd give them this. This takes place about a week before Obito dies. Before I get any reviewers saying that it's impossible for a six and a half year old to be this strong let me remind you that Kakashi made Chunin by six. At least in my story Hikaru's still a Genin.**

**The next chapter of Arashi ni narimasu is almost done, I'm just editing some plot holes in the story right now but it'll be up in a few days.**

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First Kills

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"Get down gaki!" Orochimaru yelled as he pushed the green eyed boy to the ground, protecting the child from the flying weapons with his larger body. Rolling them to the cover of a large tree, the golden eyed man sat up quickly, pulling the boy up with him. "What the hell are you doing out here?" He hissed angrily at the child that glared up at him defiantly. "You're just a Genin you shouldn't be on the frontlines!"

Hikaru struggled the older man's grip. "Well excuse me! In case it escaped your notice this wasn't even a battlefield until an hour ago. Hokage-sama sent me and Kakashi to meet the envoy that's on it's way from Suna!" He instinctively moved closer to the Sannin as a chain reaction of explosions were set off nearby with exploding notes. He hid a wince as agonized screams, and the sounds of splattering blood filled his ears. "By the time we realized what was going on the fighting had moved too close to us and we were ambushed. Half the envoy's dead."

Orochimaru glared at the young boy. "Well that doesn't explain why you're still here! Why haven't you retreat-" He broke off suddenly, pulling Hikaru close to him and jumping into the treetops just as the ground split where they had been formerly sitting. "Too late now! Iwa bastards!" He hissed lowly, retreating farther away. "Can you actually use those fans boy or are they just for show?"

Hikaru bristled in youthful indignation before hissing right back at the man. "I'll have you know that there was a reason I graduated from the academy the top of my class at such a young age. Just tell me what you want me to do."

"Tch, I suppose there's little chance you know any Futon Jutsu's. Do you know any Ka-"

"Don't even. Kakashi's been teaching me Futon Jutsu's since I made Genin. Which one do you need?" Hikaru said quickly.

Orochimaru landed silently on a branch as far from the front line as he could manage, hiding them within the copious leaves of the trees. Frowning he silently assessed the small child. "It wasn't meant as an insult. The fact of the matter is that you're only a Genin and as such probably don't even know any C-ranked Jutsu's-"

"I do too!"

"Really?" Orochimaru raised an eyebrow in surprise, ignoring the screaming and explosions filling the air around them. "Which one?"

"I can use the Kamaitachi no Jutsu and the Futon: Daitoppa-"

Orochimaru cut him off quickly. "You know how to use Futon: Daitoppa? Can you make the smaller, more condensed version? The one that can be lit on fire?"

"Hai," Hikaru answered nodding unsurely. "Hai, I can but I'm not very good at Katon Jutsu-"

"Relax that's what I'm here for," the man gazed at him thoughtfully. "If you're good enough to use a C-rank Jutsu at your age then Futon is most likely your elemental affinity. You won't be able to use Katon very well until you're older." Orochimaru scooped the boy up into his arms, jumping through the trees back towards the fighting. "We're only going to have one shot at this gaki. When we get back to the front unleash the condensed version and I'll take care of lighting it up. If we time it right we'll have won the battle-"

Hikaru widened his eyes in panic. "No! Wait you can't waste your chakra! There's a reason why we didn't retreat! Iwa reinforcements are on their way here! I was sent by Fugaku-sama, he wants me to tell you that Tousan is on his way. When he arrives you and he are supposed to summon your-"

Orochimaru started laughing at the boy, deep belly laughs that nearly made him lose his footing. "Do you really think a small Katon Jutsu will affect me so much I won't be able to summon? Calm yourself. I'll have plenty of chakra left to summon Manda." He smirked at the boy. "After all we can't let your Tousan have all the glory now can we?"

Hikaru widened his eyes as he was suddenly thrown high in the air, too high to land safely. "Better hurry up with that Jutsu Hikaru-kun!" Orochimaru yelled, jumping onto a nearby tree.

"OROCHIMARU YOU BASTARD!" Hikaru yelled, quickly twisting his body to face the nearby Iwa nins as he fell through the air. He faintly noticed the old Jounin motioning for the remaining ten Konoha nins to pull back as he dazedly pulled a tessen from his holster. Snapping it open he pulled it back over his left shoulder, channelling chakra through the fan, and his feet, desperately trying to slow his descent before calling out, "FUTON: DAITOPPA!" Hikaru watched blearily as gust of wind raced towards the Iwa nins as he arched the fan towards them smoothly.

"Katon: Karyu Endan!"

"Such foul language Hikaru-kun," Orochimaru hissed in amusement as he caught the boy in mid-air. "Is that any way to talk to your superior? And here I thought your Tousan taught you to be polite."

Hikaru watched in shock as over twenty Iwa nins burned in the blaze the combined Jutsu's had created. The golden eyed man frowned slightly before realization sunk in.

"Ah I see. This is your first time eh?" He couldn't help but sigh. "Undoubtedly you've seen death before but it's the first time you've helped cause it. I-"

"Orochimaru-sama! Orochimaru-sama! They're almost here Iwa's reinforcement's are here! What are our orders sir?" Uchiha Fugaku shouted to him.

Orochimaru swore softly as he took in the sight of the approaching troops. It was no use, they were outnumbered six to one, even counting the boy. The child was in no condition to fight now, not so soon after his first kills and several others looked to be barely conscious. His heart pounding wildly, as he searched desperately for a place to hide the young Kazama heir safely.

"Orochimaru-sama! He's here! Arashi-sama's-"

"Have no fear, Arashi's here!" Arashi yelled as he landed by Orochimaru. "Hey why the long face snake-breath?"

"Why the long face? I'll tell you why the long face you baka! We're outnumbered six to one, your son just made his first kills and is now mentally in no condition to fight, and you come in acting like an idiot!" Orochimaru hissed in anger.

Arashi froze in shock finally registering the bloody scene before him. "Damn this is… We weren't told Orochimaru. The messenger just said that there was a small skirmish happening. They didn't mention that Iwa had sent so many. If we'd known I would have arrived sooner." Arashi searched his son still form frantically. "Is he alright? He's not hurt is he?"

"They're here!"

"No time now Arashi! Just summon your damn Toads."

Two cries of Kuchiyose no Jutsu sounded through the bloody field as the Iwa nins arrived.

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**A/N2: Yeah, really it was Orochimaru who killed them, but Hikaru set it up with his Jutsu. So he's a bit devastated. Tell me how you guys liked it.**

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	7. Speaker

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**Warnings: Characters are ooc. But what did you expect with an AU fic? Language, an adoring snake, and a...marriage contract?**

**A/N: **¬¬) **I don't like this. I've been working on it since the fifth chapter of Arashi ni narimasu but I just finished it an hour ago. My computer kept overheating and shutting off while I was writing this so if it seems choppy that's why. I said I was going to do two versions of this but I just merged my ideas into one. Check my profile for update info.**

_Parseltongue_

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**Speaker**

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"What do you think you're doing Orochimaru!" Manda hissed angrily as he appeared from the smoke caused by the summoning. "You dare call me to fight these pitiful weaklings?" He asked as he rolled his eyes inwards, making him look cross-eyed, to watch his summoner standing on his snout.

Gamabunta let out a stream of smoke before moving his pipe to the left side of his mouth. "As much as I hate agreeing with the hebi don't you think this is going a bit overboard Arashi?" The toad boss grumbled.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes in annoyance as he set Hikaru to his feet on top of the giant purple snake. "Hold onto me tightly and don't let go!" He ordered the Genin, moving the boys hands to his waist. "There's more on the way Manda. I offer Konoha's enemies to you as your sacrifice. Any Iwa nins you come across are yours to do with as you please."

Arashi cursed under his breath as he eyed the approaching Iwa nins intently. "Look lively Gamabunta! Looks like Iwa sent some summoners of their own!"

"'Bout time!" Gamabunta grinned as he unsheathed his sword. "It's been awhile since I've had the chance to fight a spider! And what d'ya know they've got giant hornets too! I might just forgive you for calling me to this dump!"

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Arashi sighed as he surveyed the carnage far below him. They had only lost two on their side and had managed to capture several badly injured Jounins from Iwa.

"Oi Arashi! Get your ass over here and take your gaki!" Orochimaru shouted at him as he jumped down from Manda half a mile away.

"Hold on a sec teme!" He yelled. "Hey Gamabunta can you take me closer? Hikaru just made his first kill and I wanna check on him."

"First kill huh?" The boss asked sheathing his sword. "Ain't he a bit young for that? I thought the only condition of him being made a Genin was that he wasn't allowed near a battlefield?"

"Yeah," Arashi said sadly. "But we're at war. We don't really have a choice. That bastard Danzo got involved. Said that I wasn't the only father in the village and it wasn't fair for my child to be protected when others couldn't be," Arashi said bitterly. "So Hikaru's been sent out on C-rank and B-rank missions for the last month. Other Genin start off with just delivering messages to higher ranks, but since he's my son he's been sent off to at least three front-line battles. All accidents of course," Arashi said as he curled his lip in disgust. "Luckily Kakashi was able to get him out before heavy fighting started but it still seems like the council's trying to kill my kid!"

Gamabunta laughed at the distress in his friend's voice. "You could always start teaching him to summon us toads. Or how to use the Rasengan."

"My kid's a genius," Arashi said frowning at the large toad he was riding on. "But using that much chakra at his age would kill him."

"Just a thought," he chuckled. "If Kakashi's been able to keep him alive this long, maybe you should just put the kid on your team," he said sliding to a stop over twenty feet away from Manda and watched in amusement as the snake threatened his summoner.

"You let that gaki ride on my head!" Manda hissed. "Teme! I should-"

"Oh shut up you overgrown garden snake!" Arashi yelled as he jumped from Gamabunta's head. "That's my son you're talking 'bout!"

"_That's even worse!" _Manda hissed at the blonde. "_That my summoner would allow a child, let alone the child of the blonde baka, to ride on me is blasphemous!"_

Hikaru's head snapped up. While he was still horrified over what had happened he couldn't believe that his father would let someone speak that way of him.

"_Bastards!" _The snake boss continued. "_I should kill you all where you stand! You don't deserve to live, especially you, you blonde weakling-"_

"_Who the hell do you think you are?" _Hikaru hissed angrily at the snake to the shock of those surrounding him. "_My Tousan could kick your ass any day of the week! And as for being blasphemous, get off your high horse you hebi-teme and-"_

The Genin was knocked off his feet as Manda quickly swung his large snout down so he could see the raven haired boy properly. Manda cocked his head to the side, which was an odd look for a hundred meter long snake, before flicking his tongue out to scent the small child. "_Say that again!"_ He hissed excitedly.

Hikaru gulped nervously as his father and Orochimaru frantically ordered the snake to get off him. Gathering his courage he looked the giant purple snake in the eye. "_I said my Tousan could kick your ass any day of the week!"_

Manda grinned in delight before swinging his head towards Orochimaru. "A speaker! You've found a speaker! Maybe you're worth something after all teme! Quickly get the snake scroll out I want the boy to sign the contract!"

"What d'ya mean a speaker?" Arashi asked pulling his son into his arms quickly to prevent Manda from snatching him up.

"He's a Parselmouth! He can speak the language of snakes!" Manda said. "Finally a summoner of worth! You child," he said in excitement. "I will allow you to summon me without sacrifices at the ready!"

Gamabunta narrowed his eyes, exhaling smoke in the snakes face. "Never gonna happen. He's Arashi's kid, he's gonna learn to summon the toads!"

While the two giant summons argued, Orochimaru eyed Hikaru as though he were reassessing his worth once again. "Why not let the boy decide?" He said suddenly, his eyes not leaving the boy's slight form.

Hikaru froze in his father's arms as everyone's eyes swung to him. "Well gaki?" Gamabunta asked. "D'ya want to summon toads or snakes?"

The boy lifted his head up from his father's shoulder. "…well toads maybe," he said uncertainly.

"Great. Now let's get out of here. Do you mind giving us a lift Gamabunta?" Arashi asked quickly upon seeing the murderous look in Manda's eyes. "You can handle the cleanup right Orochimaru? I'll just head back and report to Hokage-sama!"

Gamabunta grabbed the two in his webbed hand before placing them safely on his head. "Hold on tight you two!" He yelled as he started hopping towards Konoha quickly.

"What are you waiting for you fool!" Manda hissed angrily at Orochimaru, swinging his head around. "You're letting the speaker get away! Go after him now or I'll kill you!"

Orochimaru stood staring at the retreating forms on the toad boss's head. "Patience Manda. It seems my plans have to be changed now. You'll have him as a summoner soon enough."

* * *

Three weeks later (Two weeks after Obito's death)

* * *

"What the hell is this?" Arashi asked, staring at the open scroll in his hands blankly. Outside a fall thunderstorm was brewing, the thunder booming loudly through the village as clouds covered the formerly blue sky.

"It's a marriage contract," Orochimaru said sitting stiffly across from the blonde while sipping tea.

Arashi blinked at the man sitting in his living room, as he opened and closed his mouth, unsure how he should begin. "…I see that. I meant why? What purpose could it possibly serve for you to be betrothed to my son?" He yelled angrily as the situation finally sunk in.

The golden eyed Sannin put down his tea carefully on the low table. Turning to the wall he eyed the picture of the green eyed boy playing with what looked to be ninken. "He's quite the little genius isn't he?" The older man asked gesturing to the picture. "He'll go far as a Shinobi, but only if he has the right guidance. I could be that guidance, and I'm sure that the council will agree-"

"Is that a threat?" Arashi growled lowly, reaching for his weapons.

Orochimaru raised a hand to stop him. "No it's a fact. Haven't you noticed how the council has been trying to control your son or outright kill him?" He asked seriously. You're a powerful man Arashi, and your son appears to be following in your footsteps. It's making quite a few of the council members nervous. I'm powerful enough, politically and physically to protect Hikaru from them. With the two of us betrothed they wouldn't dare-"

"How dare you try to manipulate me you bastard! It's sickening that you'd go so far as to try to betroth yourself to such a young child! Get out of my home now!" Arashi hissed.

Orochimaru frowned as he rose. "You'll regret this Arashi."

Arashi narrowed his eyes as the rain started falling outside. "The only thing I regret is not killing you years ago!"

* * *

"Sensei?" Kakashi asked in confusion as Arashi stormed into the training grounds. He moved to wipe the rain out of Hikaru's eye's as the man quickly approached. "What's wrong?"

"That bastard Orochimaru came to me with a marriage contract regarding Hikaru!" He growled as he swung his son up in his arms and started running from the grounds, disregarding the rain falling around them. "He's gonna get damn the council to side with him. I need to see the Hokage as of five minutes ago!"

"What!" Hikaru yelped in shock and disgust. "That bastard-"

"Language Hikaru!" Arashi scolded.

"You're not going to marry me off to him are you?"

"Not a chance!"

Kakashi stood in shock before running after his Sensei and friend. "He can't do that! He's like forty years older than him!"

"Thirty six. But who's counting?"

* * *

The Sandaime eyed Arashi warily as the blonde man paced in front of his desk, practically smothering his young son in his arms. "Arashi please sit down. I know that this is distressing but I'm sure-"

"Distressing?" Arashi asked as he hyperventilated. "Ya think? What the hell does he think he'll gain from this? What good could it possibly do him? I mean-"

"Sensei please calm down!" Kakashi pleaded from his seat. "Or at least put Hikaru down, he's turning blue from lack of air!"

Arashi fell down into a chair bonelessly, loosening his arms as his son squirmed in distress. "Sorry Karu-kun," he said softly as he pressed his lips to his sons messy hair. "What can I do to stop him Hokage-sama? I can't let that bastard near my son. I won't," Arashi pleaded with the old man.

The Hokage frowned as he folded his hands under his chin, his elbows smudging the still wet paperwork that he had discarded once the trio burst into his office. "It's troubling. I will speak with him and dissuade him from pursuing Hikaru further. You're right Orochimaru is far too old for Hikaru," he said smiling at the young Genin gently. "However it will take time and if the council steps in…"

Arashi tightened his arms around his son once again. "How do we stop them?" He asked breathlessly.

The Hokage sighed turning to Kakashi. "The only way to stop them from betrothing Hikaru to Orochimaru is if he's already promised to someone…"

"Where will we find someone to betroth him to?" Kakashi asked, not noticing the looks his Sensei and Hokage were sharing.

Arashi eyed his student speculatively. "Hey Kakashi? Ever think of getting married?"

* * *

A Couple of Months Later

* * *

"Yondaime-sama!" An unknown ANBU shouted as he approached the returning Team Arashi. "Hokage-sama you must come quickly!"

"My team?" Arashi asked as Kakashi and Rin followed as the jumped over the roof tops using the moonlight to illuminate their path.

"They had better come as well Hokage-sama!" The masked man yelled over the wind. "It's Orochimaru sir! Sandaime-sama discovered that Orochimaru has been behind the recent abductions of villagers and has been performing forbidden experiments on them! Sandaime-sama went to confront him but he escaped after capturing your son. Sandaime-sama is in pursuit of him now-" Arashi cut the ANBU off quickly with a wild look in his eyes.

"Which direction did they go?"

"North Hokage-sama!"

"Kakashi! You know what to do! Rin go with ANBU-san and prepare a medic team! We don't know what condition Sandaime-sama and Hikaru will be in! After that's done I want all available ANBU and Hunter's to sweep they city moving from the center outwards. Keep them moving until they reach the Fire Country's boarders. If Orochimaru gets past me I want him detained if possible, but my son back at any cost. Move!" Arashi yelled as they landed in the trees of the northern forest.

Three cries of, "Hai Hokage-sama," rang throughout the dark forest as Rin and the masked ANBU turned back to the village.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Kakashi knelt down on the tree branch he was standing on. "Pakkun, I need your help. Orochimaru has kidnapped Hikaru, can you track them?"

Pakkun blinked. "Hikaru-kun's been kidnapped?"

"Hai!" Kakashi said urgently.

"Well what are we waiting for! Hurry the hell up, the kid said he'd take me to the doggie park tomorrow! We've gotta find him!"

Arashi rolled his eyes at the pug's antics. "You just had to raise a dog that can talk didn't you!" The blonde hissed as he took off after him.

Kakashi cringed. "Sorry Sensei. He means well, he's rather fond of Hikaru."

"Sure," Arashi said in disbelief. 'Orochimaru you bastard what are you thinking? If you've hurt him-'

"Hey they're just up ahead," Pakkun yelled, bringing the man out of his thoughts. "Make sure you get the kid back in one piece, he's the only decent cook on your team!" Pakkun growled at them before falling back to hide in the trees.

"Orochimaru!" Arashi yelled as he landed in front of the older man who was holding his son in a tight grip, while Kakashi fell into a defensive stance in front of the Sandaime. "Let go of my son now!"

Orochimaru's mouth twisted into a mocking grin as he looked between his former Sensei and the new Hokage. "Well, if it isn't the overprotective father. Finally decided to join us huh Arashi?"

Arashi narrowed his eyes as he saw his son's panicked face. "What do you think you're doing Orochimaru? Let him go now!"

"Now, now. Where's the fun in that?" He asked mischievously as he licked the boy's cheek lasciviously. "I've already told my dear old Sensei that I had plans for the boy and I don't intend to give him up. It's not like you could do anything to stop me-"

The golden eyed Jounin stiffened as he felt the cold metal settle against his throat. Looking down slightly he could see the moonlight glinting off of a extremely sharp kunai. "There's a reason I was made Hokage Orochimaru," Arashi whispered dangerously, in his ear. "Have you forgotten my other name so soon?"

Orochimaru's eyes widened in realization. "Konoha no Kīroi Senkō," he whispered.

"Indeed." With that Arashi slit the snake Sannin's throat only to release a spray of mud. "Kuso! Tsuchi Bunshin no Jutsu. I should have known," he admonished himself.

Sarutobi walked over to the small green eyed boy sitting dazedly in the puddle of mud. The former Hokage knelt down and tilted his chin up. "Hikaru-kun. Are you alright?"

Which of course brought his father and Kakashi to their senses. Arashi swept the shocked boy up into his arms and squeezed him tight before holding him an arm's length away to check him for wounds. "Hikaru, he didn't hurt you did he?"

"He didn't touch you anywhere did he?" Kakashi growled while Sarutobi watched the two in slight amusement.

Hikaru shook his head as if to clear it before turning to Kakashi. "No! Like I'd let that sicko touch me inappropriately!"

Sarutobi interrupted before anyone could question the boy further. "He didn't have time to. I was on his trail from the start and we had only just stopped a few minutes before you had arrived."

Arashi pulled Hikaru back into his arms and nuzzled his cheek against his soft black hair as if to reassure himself that his son was alright. "So this was a distraction right? He used a Bunshin to kidnap Hikaru so he could escape unnoticed."

"I'm afraid not," Sarutobi said frowning. "He really does want Hikaru."

"What!" Kakashi and Arashi squawked in distress together.

Hikaru shuddered in his father's arms. "Tousan?"

"Hai? What's wrong Karu?"

Hikaru blushed in embarrassment before biting his lip. "Can men get pregnant?" He whispered lowly.

Arashi blinked in surprise. "Um well… ya see Hikaru…," Arashi looked to Sarutobi for help. "Sandaime-sama a little help here?"

"No. What Orochimaru was referring to is a forbidden jutsu that has killed everyone who has tried it. It's not possible for men to carry a child," the old man said chuckling.

"What!" Arashi shouted. "What Orochimaru referred to? Does that mean…," he trailed off holding Hikaru tighter in his arms. "No! Not gonna happen! That teme ain't getting within a hundred miles of my baby!"

Sarutobi turned to Kakashi with a sigh as the blond man ranted. "We had better head back to the village, the council will need to be informed of this turn of events."

"Hai Sandaime-sama."

* * *

**Glossary **

**Tsuchi Bunshin no Jutsu: **Earth Clone Technique

**Konoha no K****ī****roi Senk****ō**The Leaf's Yellow Flash

* * *

**A/N2: I don't like the ending but give me some feedback and I might fix it up later. **


	8. Aftermath

**Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter or Naruto.**

**voldemortharryslash: I'm glad you like them. Most of them will go along with what happened and will happen in ANN. If they don't I'll warn you like I did with the bell test. I was serious about the teams not being decided yet. It's so far away! But so far everything but the bell test fits.**

**Ash of Mine: Tempting. Really it is. But I don't want him summoning slugs...I draw the line with slimy things. Now on the other hand if Ibiki has a summon...wolves maybe? Or maybe a vote, but no guarantee I'll listen. Last time I asked for opinions it got crazy. I'm working on Kaka/Hika scenes, I promise!**

**dm: I left it openended with the marriage contract. Maybe it's in effect still, maybe it's not, but I'm sure I'll be able to work with it either way. However I am leaning towards a scene between Kakashi and Sal concerning the contract. Y'know you have to be one of the most preceptive reviewers. I'm going to have to make it harder for you to guess my plot!**

**Early-Frosts: Who knows? Maybe it'll work for him? I'm not to big on M-preg so it probably won't feature but adoption is always a possibility.**

**amanda: Not sure yet. Read dm's reply to learn more.**

**SelenaWolf: Not sure if I replied to this but some other might want to know. Absolutely not! Hikaru despised Oro with a passion but respected him as a Shinobi. Oro tolerated him until he grew interested.**

**A/N: Wow, the site has been crazy this week huh? Good news is that the next few chapters are mostly done, I just need time to fix 'em up a bit. But I thought I'd give you this to tide you over for a few days. Review please!**

* * *

Hikaru cradled his baby brother as he sat with his back against a wall in his Tousan's former office in the Kage Tower. Numbly he watched as Shinobi of all rank and age, bustled in and out to give reports and ask for orders, desperately trying to restore order to their once magnificent village. Back and forth they went. Over and over again in a never ending stream. Worst of all though were those that occasionally glared at the baby in his arms. Hikaru managed to summon enough vitriol to glare at each and everyone that dared, despite his fatigue. 

It wasn't right.

It certainly wasn't enough.

And he was beginning to believe it wasn't worth it.

His Tousan, his wonderful, strong, baka of a father was gone. He was gone, and the _civilians_ were calling for his brother's blood. How could they? Didn't they understand what his father and brother had sacrificed? And speaking of his father, he would have to have a serious talk with him when he died. Of all the things he could have done, he had chosen the stupidest route. One that could very well get his brother killed and himself ensnared in the Council's web. His father was dead and the bloodthirsty bakamono's were so quick to call for the death of a child.

As if it would fix everything.

As if his death would bring everyone back to life.

And the Council would let them. They'd stand aside and let them kill Naruto if it meant their continued power. Hell, they'd probably volunteer to kill him themselves.

Fools.

However it didn't come as a surprise. The Council had proved long ago how little they were worth. They only cared about themselves, and the power Konoha's Shinobi gave them. When would they learn that without compassion Konoha would simply become another Kirigakure?

He was tired. It had been such a long time since he had been able to sleep peacefully, with his only worry being what strange concoction his Kaa-san would dream up for dinner, and how he could convince Kashi and Rin-chan to take him out to eat. He wished that he could be like everyone else and run to Sarutobi-sama…no he was now Hokage-sama again. But Hokage-sama was busy, he was out preventing the village from falling into anarchy, and from word of the village's plight from reaching the other major villages. Villages that would not hesitate to swoop in to destroy Konoha. Likewise Tsunade-sensei was frantically saving as many lives as she could while Jiraiya was most likely staring at the bottom of a bottle, mourning his prized student's death. Sirius was still a wreck and Kakashi was just sent on a mission. He had no one to turn to and it was only a matter of time before-

"Kazama-san," a voice sneered down at him, breaking him from his depressing thoughts.

Hikaru sighed as he looked up at the conceited Chunin. Not even a full day since his father had died and the Council's lackey's were looking down on their superiors. While he wasn't raised to be some arrogant clan brat, he _was _raised to realize that his blood afforded him power that a civilian borne could only dream of.

"What?" He snarled in annoyance mimicking a tone his father had often used to intimidate the Council and those that answered to them.

It worked.

The Chunin backed up nervously before realizing that he was being intimidated by someone less than half his age. Narrowing his eyes, he regained his sneer. "The Council has summoned you. I'm to escort you to them."

Hikaru laughed mirthlessly. "Oh really? Well who am I to keep the _Council _waiting?"

He drawled in disgust.

He stood up smoothly, brushing past the Chunin as he walked out of the room with his head held high, his brother held securely in his arms. A Kazama never looks away from the future, and now, it was time for him to fix his father's mistakes rather than dwell on them as he had been.

* * *


	9. A Father or a Hokage?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto**

**A/N: As promised this is for Kitai Shinsei! She's one of the winner's of my contest in ANN! This is a two-parter, the second will be up in about a week. This takes place before Sirius comes and Tsunade starts teaching Hikaru. **

* * *

"Tousan! Tousan you get your butt back here right now!" Hikaru yelled as he chased after his father through the spiralling stairways of Kage Tower. 

"Gomen Karu-chan, I've got a meeting with the Council!" Arashi yelled desperately trying to escape his irate son.

"Then why are you going down the stairs baka?"

Arashi swallowed convulsively, not daring to look behind him at the angry youth. "They, uh moved the meeting room! Now Hikaru I really have to go, I'll see you at home after your mission."

Hikaru puffed his cheeks out angrily. "ANBU-chan! ANBU-chan! Tousan didn't finish his paperwork!"

"What!" Arashi yelped. "That's a lie! I finished it an hour ago!"

"Yeah, right after you assigned me son lame mission to paint a fence!"

Arashi paled as he started running even faster down the stairs only to be pulled back by two masked ANBU.

"Arashi-sama," Neko-san greeted him, her voice full of disapproval. "Why are you running down the stairs?"

Her companion, an ANBU wearing a Tora mask got in on the act. "We can't afford to have our Hokage die by slipping and breaking his neck now can we? Consider the ridicule Konoha would be heaped with if that were to happen."

"And you're setting a bad example for your son! Running all over the place like that. And not finishing your paperwork! Shame on you!" Neko-san finished.

"But I did finish it!" The blonde Hokage whined.

"Oh?" Both ANBU turned a questioning eye on Hikaru.

"Shikaku-san and his team are back," the Genin said defensively. "They're waiting for him to report, and they've brought back a request from the Daimyo. And he gave me a mission painting a fence! A fence!"

Tora-san gave the Yondaime an incredulous look that no one could see but everyone could sense. "A D-rank Hokage-sama? I know he's young but we don't have enough people to spare on D-ranks right now."

"Un," Neko-chan continued for him. "Why aren't you sending him on C-rank deliveries? He's good enough that you'd only need to spare another Shinobi to assist."

"Are you two questioning my orders?" Arashi asked in exasperation, pulling their hands off him and straightening his robes.

The ANBU shared an uncomfortable look. "Would you two stop doing that already?" He groused.

"Stop doing what Arashi-sama?" Tora-san asked mischievously, sharing another look with his partner.

Arashi huffed. "That! That thing all you ANBU do!"

"What thing Hokage-sama?"

"Arrrghh!" Arashi yelled before he started running down the stairs again. "I'm late! Hikaru you have a mission to be getting to, I'll see you at home tonight!"

"But what about your paperwork!" Neko-san shouted after him as Hikaru pouted and Tora shook his head.

xxXxXxXxx

Hikaru trudged listlessly through the hallways of Kage Tower two hours later. Of all the nerve, first he made him paint a fence and then sent an ANBU all the way across town to summon him.

"Good afternoon Hikaru-sama," Tora-san greeted him as he stopped in front of the Hokage's office.

"Hey Tora-san," Hikaru sighed. "So what's it now? He want me to plant a garden? Or baby sit? Maybe chase the demon cat?"

Tora smiled behind his mask. "I don't know Hikaru-sama, however Tsunade-hime and Hatake-san are also present."

Hikaru perked up at this. Tsunade-obasan always made things interesting at least, and he'd never pass up a chance to see Kakashi. "Oh?"

"Yep. Tsunade-hime's been in there for the past hour or so and Kakashi got here shortly before you."

"Is that Hikaru out there?" Arashi yelled from inside his office. "Send him in already!"

"Hai!" Tora-san yelled back. "You should get going, he sounds impatient."

"Later Tora-san."

Hikaru entered the office as Tora-san held the door open for him. Both of them gasped before Tora caught himself and exited the office shutting the door firmly behind him.

Sitting at his desk, with a stern looking Tsunade behind holding onto his ear tightly, was his Tousan who looked slightly…beat up. He was covered in scrapes and bruises, and his once pristine white robes were covered in blood and dirt. Most prominent however was the brilliant black eye he was sporting, most likely courtesy of the formidable woman standing behind him. To the side Kakashi looked on in obvious mirth as he leaned on the windowsill.

"Wha-What happened?" Hikaru breathed.

Arashi grumbled before a sharp tug at his ear made him yelp. "Gomen, gomen!"

"Didn't you have something to say to your son Arashi-kun?" Tsunade asked a vicious gleam in her eyes.

"Iie! Itai! Cut it out already!" Arashi yelled as Tsunade-Obasan pulled on his ear again.

"Listen you baka! I wouldn't involve myself if you hadn't started giving him D-rank missions! As the Hokage do you really think that's all he's good for?" Tsunade barked at the younger man, her amber eyes alight with anger.

Hikaru listened attentively while Kakashi's visible eye watched the two blondes with obvious amusement.

Arashi huffed. "You know I think he'll make a damn fine Shinobi one day but-"

"But nothing! Leave your personal life out of this! Are you a Hokage or not!"

"Fine! Fine! Hikaru pack for a four day mission, be at the main gate in ten minutes! You and Kakashi are to deliver these scrolls to the Kazekage, clear?"

"Crystal sir!" Hikaru said before throwing a grin to Tsunade as he turned to leave through the window.

Tsunade waited until Hikaru had left and Kakashi had followed him out like a puppy before releasing the blondes abused ear. "There now, that wasn't so difficult, now was it?"

Arashi drew back and hissed at the woman while he rubbed his poor ear. "Don't give me that! It was one of the hardest things I've ever done!"

"Oh?" Tsunade asked with a raised eyebrow. "Although I'm quite proud of you, accepting Kakashi's feelings for Hikaru and trusting him enough to be alone for four days with your son…"

Arashi stiffened in his chair before turning to look at her slowly, his face pale. "What? What feelings?"

"Didn't you know? Kakashi's head over heels in love with the gaki! Hikaru's got him wrapped around his little finger!"

"What!"

"Hmmm," Tsunade hummed, her face the picture of innocence. "Well I admit if it was me I wouldn't let him anywhere near Hikaru, no matter how honourable Kakashi is. But if he's willing to wait until Hikaru's of age, I suppose there isn't any harm in it…"

"K-k-kashi? Hi-Hikaru? L-l-lll…," Arashi stuttered mindlessly as Tsunade watched him smugly.

XxXxXxXxx

Two hours later though, she was beginning to regret reducing him to a mindless heap. He was still sitting there stuttering, unable to get the l-word out of his mouth. Tch, men!

Tsunade sighed and snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, attempting to bring him out of his stupor.

Arashi slowly became aware of the annoying snapping sound and realized what he had just done. "Tsunade?" He said slowly.

The blonde Sannin blinked suspiciously. "Hai?"

"Can you tell my wife I'll be late for dinner?"

"Why can't you do it yourself baka-" Tsunade gasped as a yellow blur went past her out the window and over the rooftops until it passed over the gate, alerting the entire ANBU corps that their Hokage had run off again.

Tsunade paled suddenly as she realized where he was heading. "Hehe," she giggled nervously. "Poor Kakashi."

* * *

**A/N2: For anyone that is up to date in the manga, I will not be changing the Fourth's name! I happen to like Kazama Arashi much more than the one revealed. (And no I haven't read all the manga but if it involves the Yondaime I can't resist spoilers!)**


	10. A Father or a Hokage pt2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto. But if I did I'd force Kakashi and Itachi to follow me around all day to…_dispose _of those who annoy me for updates. **

* * *

"This is nice, eh Kakashi-kun?" Hikaru chirped as he followed his older friend through the treetops nearly two hours after they had cleared the village walls. "It's been awhile since I've been allowed to go on a mission with you!"

The silver haired teen threw the young boy a smile over his shoulder, only distinguishable by the u shape his visible eye made. "Hai, your Tou-san and Sandaime-sama were quite worried after the last one. They love you very much.

Hikaru beamed brilliantly. "Hai! They do. But I love them too!"

Kakashi smiled at his young friend before tensing up in terror, slipping from the branch he had just landed on.

"Kakashi?" Hikaru yelped as he caught his friends arm and hauled him up to stand beside him. "What's wrong Kashi?"

The silver haired teen broke into a cold sweat as he hyperventilated. "D-dd-don't y-you fe-eel tha'?"

"Feel what Kakashi?" Hikaru questioned frantically as he pulled the teen down to rest against the trunk of the tree whilst trying to calm him.

'This killing intent…' Kakashi thought to himself. 'I've felt it before. But why would it be aimed towards me?'

"Kakashi please tell me what's wrong?" Hikaru cried, nearly in tears as he saw his friends pale face.

"I-it's s-se-nse-ei," he choked out in between breaths as his heart sped up until he thought it would burst.

"What? Kakashi you aren't making any sen-"

Hikaru trailed off as he caught sight of his father's summon Gamabunta closing in at a speed he had thought impossible for an amphibian. Feeling his friend shiver violently, he squinted suspiciously between the giant toad and the Jounin.

"Kakashi? Is Tou-san coming? Did he signal you somehow?"

Kakashi just hyperventilated even more.

Thirty seconds later, Gamabunta had skidded to a halt, narrowly avoiding crushing the tree the two boys were kneeling in. Two seconds after that Hikaru was turning blue from the lack of air reaching his lungs, while Kakashi was nearly comatose.

"T-tou-san," Hikaru squeaked out weakly. "C-c-ca-n't br-reat-the."

Arashi pulled back instantly, rubbing his hand through his blonde spikes rather sheepishly. "Ooops! Sorry bout that 'Karu-chan!"

Hikaru gasped for breath as he glared at the man weakly before he noticed Kakashi's condition. "Tou-san! Something's wrong with Kakashi!"

"Oh?" Arashi said dismissively. "Well I had to get you guys to slow down somehow! Don't worry he'll be fine in a few hours!"

The green eyed genin started at the blasé tone his father had used. Never before had he sounded so unconcerned about one of his student's, let alone his fellow shinobi. "…If I hadn't seen you riding Gamabunta then I'd say you were an impostor…unless-"

Hikaru leapt into action, throwing kunai and shuriken in succession, making the Hokage/father impostor (in his mind at least) dodge before leaping onto the henged summon (because Gamabunta would never have allowed anyone but his Tou-san ride on his head).

"Hikaru! Hikaru calm down!" Arashi cried as he pulled a kunai to block the incoming flow of thrown projectile weapons. "What do you think you're doing chibi?"

"You're not my Tou-san! Tou-san would have been freaking out that Kashi-kun was hurt!" Hikaru yelled as he resorted to pilfering shuriken and kunai from Kakashi in order to keep attacking.

"Hika-Yeowch! That hurt!" Arashi wailed as a shuriken managed to imbed itself in his upper thigh. "Chibi cut it out!"

"Never!" Hikaru roared while the Gamabunta impostor chuckled at his summoners plight. "Which village are you from? Iwa?"

"Hikaru," Arashi practically growled. "You are so grounded young man! Just wait until I get you back you- OUCH! THAT'S IT!" Arashi snarled as he Shunshin'd right behind his son, delivering a swift chop to the back of his neck.

Gamabunta chuckled as the blonde Hokage gathered up his student and son, muttering all the while about silver haired menaces that shouldn't be falling in love with seven year olds and seven year olds that should be more respectful to their father's. "I told you that using killer intent would be a stupid thing to do."

"…Head back for Konoha."

The toad boss took a drag of his pipe before responding. "Didn't they have to deliver some scrolls to Suna?"

Arashi grit his teeth. "It can wait."

The toad burst into a deep belly laugh. "Of course it can Arashi, of course it can."

* * *


	11. Author's insanity

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or Naruto. Shame.**

* * *

Harry gazed up in shock at the young boy who had lifted him bodily out of his seat by the fire. "Who the hell are you?"

The boy narrowed familiar green eyes at him. "I'm you baka."

"What?" Harry exclaimed in shock and disbelief. "Listen you death eater in disguise, you'll never win! Do you hear me?"

"Kami-sama," the interloper muttered. "I didn't believe Lyn-chan at first, but I really am an idiot in this universe."

"What the hell are you going on about death eater scum!"

"Is that the only insult you know?"

With that fifteen year old Harry was thrown back into his chair. "Listen up, and listen good peon," the child hissed while he groped for his wand. "My name is Harry James Hikaru Evans Potter Kazama, or Hikaru Kazama for short. Let's sum this up in simple words so you can understand. I'm you from a different universe. I'm here to save you. Stop looking for your wand moron, I swiped it before I even touched you," Hikaru said waving said wand under his nose.

"B-but h-how?" Harry gasped, pushing up his glasses before suddenly getting defensive. "I mean, what proof do you have death eater s-"

"Scum?" The boy said dryly. "Your godfather Sirius Black is innocent, Peter Pettigrew is the one who betrayed your parents-"

"Please," Harry snarled. "Every death eater knows that."

"-you've got a circular birthmark on your lower left hip, and Dumbledore had a portrait recording device that he uses to watch the Gryffindor boys wank."

Harry stiffened. "Portrait recording device?"

Hikaru nodded solemnly.

"Right," Harry said extending his hand to his younger alternate self. "Welcome to my dimension, whatever you plan for your stay is fine, so long as you help me find and destroy the devices."

"Already done."

"Soooooo….." Harry started as he looked over Hikaru, gaping at the few visible weapons, while wondering if he had more. Or if he was willing to share. "What exactly are you doing here anyways?"

Harry had always wondered why Malfoy sometimes whimpered when he glared at him. Now he knew why.

"You are an idiot. The most idiotic idiot since Helga Hufflepuff."

"Hey!"

Hikaru ignored him while curling up in the chair across from him, somehow managing to avoid poking himself with his sharp pointy toys. "Why the Sorting Hat was going to put you in Slytherin for, I'll never understand. Then again it did put Ron-chan there back home."

"Ron? In Slytherin?" Harry asked faintly.

Hikaru snorted. "Disgusting isn't it? Now back to the subject at hand. You're an idiot."

Harry bristled. "Listen kid, how the hell can you say-"

"That about you?" Hikaru finished dryly. "Because it's true. Any other kid presented with an envelope addressed to the cupboard under the stairs has got to be dumber than a doorknob. You were presented with evidence, that not only did a magical school know exactly what was going on at the Dursleys, but that they weren't willing to do anything about it. Where were the Aurors, the ministry workers, the teachers? You were presented with the perfect opportunity and you didn't take it. So many things could have begun with that letter. You were smaller, faster, why didn't you take one and run? Hide it somewhere, take your licks, then go back and retrieve it when you could. Or slip it under your cupboard door on your way back to the kitchen so you could read it later in private. Did you think your relatives would allow you to keep it, let alone read it?"

Harry blushed brightly. It did seem foolish when laid out in front of him like that. "What was I supposed to do then?"

"Sue them!" Hikaru chirped. "You're the last Potter, if you had done things correctly you'd already be Lord Potter. Or at least have more control over your life. Or-"

"Kazama Hikaru," a stern voice interrupted him before he could continue. "What have I told you about disrupting another author's work?'

"Eep!" Hikaru cried as he climbed into Harry's lap. "Hide me! She's here!"

"Who's here Hikaru," Harry asked worriedly as he once again groped for his missing wand.

"Hi!" I chirped as I stepped out of the fire. "My name's Lyn. And I'm his God."

"Lyn?" Harry asked in slight disbelief, looking between me and my creation. "God?"

I narrowed my brown eyes at the boy. "Yeah, Lyn got a problem with that?"

"No it's not!" Hikaru protested. "Sarah told me her name's Lynds-"

He trailed off as I turned my glare to him. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't spend any more time with Sarah, Hikaru. It makes it harder to write the story afterwards."

The eleven year old pouted. "But she's your cousin."

"Who had no right to reveal my name like that. It just makes it easier for the freaks and weirdoes to track us down and then where would we be?"

Hikaru burst into tears. "In some second rate circus where they would force me to do despicable things while wearing a man thong, and Kakashi would be turned into lion food, while you're forced to write naughty stories about me and the circus master doing naughty things together."

"Exactly," I said nodding resolutely. "Now Harry, put him down and go back upstairs and sleep. When you wake up this will have been all a dream and you'll be back to your moody little self, not questioning the motives of those around you."

"What?" Harry spat. "Why the hell should I do what you say? You don't even have a wand!"

I thought about that for a moment. "You're right. I don't. However, I do have something you don't…"

"What?"

"Basic self-defence knowledge and really pointy stiletto's," I said pointing to my red shoes. "They're functional, fashionable, and you can kill a guy with them over a dozen different ways."

Harry stood up, putting Hikaru on the ground gently. "Sorry kid, can't argue with that logic. See ya."

"Okay," I said once the scrawny boy had gone up the stairs. "We're leaving."

"B-b-but Lyn!" Hikaru whined as I attempted to pull him from the Gryffindor common room. "I have to help him! I can't let this sham of an existence to continue. It's depressing to see him live like this, he's wasting away our potential. Plus, he's actually friends with that bushy haired freak!"

"I. Don't. Care." I hissed as I yanked on feet, attempting to pull him off of the armchair he had latched on to. "You need to get back to ANN so I can finish writing the damn chapter. It's bad enough you disappeared right after handing Draco the damn umbrella, did you have to come here of all places?"

"Yes! The idiot needs to be saved from himself!"

Finally succeeding in pulling the twerp off the furniture, I lifted him to my height. "Why do you have to be so troublesome? Why can't you be a considerate, helpful character like Arashi? Huh? He actually likes to be written."

Hikaru pouted. "Are you talking about Dad-Arashi, Minato-Arashi, or Arashi-Arashi?"

I took a deep calming breath. For some reason it seemed to scare him more than calm him. Odd. "TBU Arashi."

Hikaru burst into tears again. "I don't want to go back!"

I had to fight the urge to rub my temples. "Why not?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Because you're gonna make Kakashi cheat on me!" He wailed.

"I am not!" I hissed. "Quite down before you wake someone. The last thing we need is Granger coming down to find us."

That shut him up. Momentarily. "I still don't want to go back."

"Whine, whine, whine. Want some cheese to go with that?"

"Promise you won't make Kakashi cheat on me!"

"Oh for the last time," I said exasperatedly. "He won't really be cheating on you. I need an excuse to write a sequel, but if you keep running off I won't even be able to finish ANN."

"That's not good enough. And why did you have to make me so young? I can't do anything with Kakashi like this," Hikaru cocked his head in thought. "Well we could, but then everyone else would kill him."

My migraine had finally arrived. If only everyone knew just how whiny Hikaru really was…

I bent down and slung the brat over my shoulder. "Stop squirming, if you make me ruin my shoes I really will make Kakashi cheat on you. Geez, if it's not you running away, it's Salvatore and Kaili saying they don't want me to send Rishi to Hogwarts, while Luna says to jump right into fifth year. If that's not enough I've also gotta deal with Alucard threatening to maim me if I let the OMC, who's really a canon character, get with Lord Hadrian. And you don't even want to know about the crap that chibi Sasuke from TBU wants me to post, 'because he thinks it'll really help his character growth'. Plus Rusty's been bitching that I haven't written a longer story for him and Suave!Harry. I quit. I'm going on vacation. When I get back I want the next chapter done, understand?"

"Yes Lyn-chan," Hikaru said sullenly as we walked out into the night.

* * *

**A/N: Part dream, part insanity. It'll be a while folks, I need a break. Hikaru really did run off after the umbrella scene which was a depressing thousand words or so into the chapter. I had only covered two out of seven or so events that needed to take place. If you're looking for something new to read go take a look at my Ocean's Eleven/HP xover's!**


	12. Heir of Slytherin?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: **My boyfriends at work so I was able to score some computer time, this little drabble came to life when I read another fic where Harry is accused of being the Heir of Slytherin and does nothing about it. It's extremely rough, I'm working with limited time here, but I'll probably clean it up for use in ANN. For those of you worried about how promiscuous Hikaru sounds, keep in mind that he's a twelve year old boy, who's most likely going through puberty. (And darnit, I've kept him innocent for how many chapters of ANN? Can you honestly blame me?)

* * *

"You know what?" Hikaru said quite suddenly in the middle of dinner that night.

"What?" Draco asked. "Finally going to do something about all these idiots glaring at you?"

He smirked. "You know me so well Draco-chan!" He chirped before bringing his legs under him so he was crouched on the bench before springing up on the tabletop. "Listen up peons!" He shouted, much to the shock of those in the hall.

"It has come to my attention that there are those of you that see me as the Heir of Slytherin-"

"No really?" Ron muttered sarcastically.

"As such I demand my full rights as Heir!"

Dumbledore twinkled at him from the Head Table. "Which rights Mr. Potter?"

Hikaru struck a thoughtful pose. "If I were truly the Heir, I would be entitled to one fourth of the school, would I not?"

The Headmaster nodded solemnly, playing along with him. "That is true."

"Then I demand that everything to the west of the library to the Transfigurations classroom and above be declared my territory," he said dramatically with a flourish of his hand. "And as my territory I declare a toll to be set up with the proceeds going to the Save the Charmander fund,-"

"He does realize that that's not a real creature right?" Blaise asked thoughtfully.

"Who cares?" Pansy asked. "Now shush, this is the most interesting thing that's happened this week."

"as well as rent from all students residing within-"

"That includes the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor dorms," Oliver Wood shouted from the Gryffindor table.

"Only fourth year and up," Hikaru leered at the boy playfully. "I like 'em well developed, thanks ever so much."

"I'm telling Kakashi," Pansy muttered.

"Hey!" He said with mock indignation. "I never said I wouldn't share. But I digress. Since I am the Heir of _Slytherin, _I demand that all former and current Slytherins bow when I enter a room-"

"What!" Snape screeched. "This has gone far enough. Tell him Albus."

"Tell him what?" The Headmaster asked as he popped a lemon drop in his mouth. "If he truly is the heir then he is fully entitled to all that and more."

"Further more, I demand a harem full of handsome boys to pleasure me-"

"Albus really, you can't allow all this!" McGonagall hissed.

"True, the harem part is a bit extreme. Kakashi would kill them all."

"Attendance at the auditions is compulsory for those in fourth year and higher, those with girly bits, need not apply," Harry added as finally sat down.

"Those with girly bits need not apply?" Draco asked. "You realize you've just broken every girls heart with that little comment."

Hikaru smirked. "Can you blame me for preferring a nice hard-"

"Harry!"

"Body," he squeaked quickly to save himself from Blaise's wrath. "Rather than soft squishy-"

"Potter!" Pansy snarled.

"Shutting up now."

"Aren't you a little young for all that?" Draco asked suddenly.

"So I'm precocious," he said with a shrug. "It's not like I said what kind of pleasuring they'll have to do. I'll probably set up a pick up Quidditch match for us to watch."

"How exactly is that pleasurable?" Ron asked.

Hikaru sniffed. "Obviously you've never seen the male Gryffindor Quidditch team shirtless. If that's not pleasurable, I don't know what is."

"Still sounds a bit extreme."

"Wouldn't have happened if they hadn't accused me of being an insane psychotic killer."


End file.
